


Fuck the Patriarchy!

by SaffreeLove



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Cards Against Humanity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-07 02:36:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11614143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaffreeLove/pseuds/SaffreeLove
Summary: It's always a good time when the Avengers play Cards Against Humanity.





	Fuck the Patriarchy!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [emilyevanston](https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilyevanston/gifts).



> For Kate's Cards Against Humanity Challenge  
> Black Card: The Patriarchy

The Avengers love playing Cards Against Humanity. Well, most of the Avengers. Captain America has always taken issue with the game. So, whenever the team played, without fail, Steve would get pissed off. Every single time they played, he got all wound up and went off on some rant or other that was highly entertaining for everyone watching.

Steve pulls a black card and reads out, “What never fails to liven up the party?” After about a minute everyone had put their choice of white card onto the low table in the middle of all the couches. 

Steve chugged his beer before picking up the stack of assembled white cards. Before he could even start reading them, Clint shouted, “Outloud, Cap! We need to know what your options are before you make your choice.” This always made the game more entertaining.

Clearing his throat, Steve sat up a bit and began to read them off. 

“What never fails to liven up the party is… A stray pube.”  
“What never fails to liven up the party is… Full frontal nudity.”  
“What never fails to liven up the party is… A defective condom.”  
“What never fails to liven up the party is… Surprise sex.”  
“What never fails to liven up the party is… Glory holes.”  
“What never fails to liven up the party is… The Patriarchy.”

As Steve read each of the cards, the sounds he made got better and more intriguing. The best part? These were not sounds that usually came out of Captain America. After “A stray pube,” he snorted. “Full frontal nudity” got a giggle. A giggle. A fucking giggle came out of Steve’s mouth. At this point, Steve’s normally steely posture had relaxed and he was almost slumped back on the couch. “A defective condom” produced a cringe. “Surprise sex” was said with a deeper voice and caused the good Captain to give a satisfied hum and a bump of the eyebrows. “Glory holes” presented everyone with two light spots of pink on his cheeks. 

“The Patriarchy” came out practically slurred, but Steve shot his hand up and slurred louder, “The fuckin’ Patriarchy! Such a bullshit system tha’ whiney men like cause they’re a scared a women. It’s so stupid, guys. Can’t we just loved each other?”

Everyone’s eyes have been glued to Steve with shocked expressions while the Captain just kept going. Bucky is just grinning.

‘If I hafta hear one more man say ‘not all men’ I will… well, I don’t know what I’ll do, but something. I know! I’ll sit on them, like Bucky used to do to me.”

Darcy turned to him, whispering, “What did you do?” 

“What? I sat on him to keep him from running head first into fights with 3 other guys who would have beat the tar out of him,” Bucky said with innocence painted all over his face.

“No, I mean this,” Darcy said while motioning to Steve, “this has you written all over it.”

“I may have slipped a little something I got from Thor into his beer,” Bucky admitted.

“What, the Asgardian mead?” Darcy wondered.

“No, something else. Thor said something about ‘revealing one’s inner feelings and embracing one’s true self.’ Steve needed to fucking chill for more than five damn seconds. I didn’t expect the asshole to chug the damn thing.” 

“So, you drugged him,” Darcy said in a flat voice.

“Well, when you say it that way it sounds really bad.”

“Cause it is bad, you fuckhead,” Darcy said as she smacked his right shoulder.

“Meh. Besides, I was hoping this might be an outcome. Look,” Bucky said as he pointed over towards Steve and Sam.

While Bucky and Darcy were talking, Sam got up to talk to Steve since Steve was clearly feeling all the effects of whatever it was that Thor had given to Bucky. “Hey man. How you feeling?” 

“I feel so good, Sam, really wonderful.” Sam puts his arm around Steve’s back to try and guide him towards the kitchen to get some water. Steve starts sweet talking Sam, and nuzzling his skin. “Sam. Sweet, sweet Sam. I like you so much. You’re such a good person and,” Steve sniffs Sam’s neck, “God, you smell sooo good, like fucking heaven and clouds and shit. Makes me wanna drown in your smell, lick you all over, and pin you to the bed.”

Sam’s mouth fell open and even from the living room, you could see the lust splashed across his face. 

Steve had inadvertently brought them to a standstill just inside the kitchen. He turned toward Sam, boxing him in against the wall, nose still trailing over his neck, forcing a whimper from Sam’s mouth. Steve’s hot breath tickling Sam’s neck as he kept begging, “Can I lick you, Sam? Like your cock. Oooh Sam, can I suck your cock? That would be so fucking delicious. Please, Sammy,” Steve pleaded while his hands trailed over Sam with one ghosting over his crotch and his mouth dropping soft kisses to Sam’s neck.

“Mmmm, Steve. Steve! Just, just wait. Put your hands behind your back,” Sam said then looked over your way mouthing ‘What the fuck??’ All he saw was your mouth on the floor and   
Bucky’s shit-eating grin.

“Ooh, kinky, I like it,” Steve murmured before darting his tongue out to deliver little kitten licks to Sam’s neck. At Sam’s gasp, Steve said in a low voice, “You only restricted my hands, Sammy. Not my tongue, and I’m very, mmmmmm, good with my tongue.”

“Steve, wait. Hold on okay? Can you count out two minutes for me? I’ll be back in two minutes.” Sam said before squeezing out between Steve and the wall and practically speed walking towards you two. “Dude, what the fuck? What is wrong with him? He’s got his hands all over me and it’s gonna make my head explode!” Sam whispered once he got close enough.

“Hmmm, which head I wonder?” Bucky asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“What?” Sam asked with wide eyes.

“Do you not want that with him, Sam? All previous evidence points to you wanting him just as he wants you. So, do you actually want that with him? If not, I can take him upstairs and put him to bed.”

“I… uh, I mean…,” Sam looked back at Steve, leaning against the wall with his hands still behind his back. He could just make out Steve’s mouth silently counting out the two minutes. Sam sighed and said, “I don't want him to regret anything.”

“So, take him upstairs and tell him that. Look, I did put something in his drink, but it only lowers inhibitions and some verbal filters. Everything that he’s been saying is all him, he just keeps a tight lid on it. Maybe at least give him a kiss?” Bucky said with a wink. 

Steve leaned forward, “That’s one minute, Sam. I counted!” Sam looked back and saw the wide, lazy grin on Steve’s face.

“He's been holding back because he didn't want to make you uncomfortable, in case you weren't interested. I understand his consent is comprised right now, but he does want this with you.” With a raised eyebrow from you Bucky sighs and adds, “And I'm sorry I drugged him. But at least it brought this out into the open.”

With a nod, Sam turned around and began walking back Steve's way. Steve's head lifted up as he straightened off the wall. Sam could see his eyes were dark and tracking his movement as he neared. When Steve's tongue poked out to caress his upper lip, Sam was sure his heart was going to fail by the end of the night.

“That was less than two minutes, Sam,” Steve said, his voice low and rough as he moved right up into Sam’s space. 

“How long was it, Steve? Can you tell me?” Sam murmured as he looked at Steve.

“One minute, 24 seconds,” Steve breathed.

“I really like that brain of yours. Still going even after your buddy drugs you. Come on, let’s get you back to your place,” Sam said as he placed his hand on Steve’s back to guide him out of the room and towards the elevator.

“I like my apartment, Sam. So do you. Oooh, I love my apartment when you are in it.” Steve said as they made their way to the elevator. The doors opened as soon as the men had gotten close enough and they were able to step right on without ever breaking their stride.

After a 10 second ride, the doors opened onto Steve’s floor. As they approached his front door, Steve turned to face Sam. They had already been standing so close to each other, shoulders touching, but face to face made it seem even closer. “Sam, I don’t know why I’m so afraid to say all these things to you normally. I mean, they are always racing through my head. Every day I think about your skin and your lips, your eyes and your hands. I think about your dick, Sam. But you don’t know, cause I can never tell you.” Steve’s words had started to get a bit frantic and panicky. He closed his eyes and said, “Cause what if you aren’t interested? Then I’m the asshole who made you uncomfortable and fucked up our friendship.”

“Steve. Steve, it’s okay,” Sam crooned as he moved his hands up to gently hold Steve’s face. Steve’s eyes blinked open and searched Sam’s eyes. Then Steve closed the gap and settled on Sam’s lips. A deep moan came from Steve as Sam let out a needy whimper.

“Sam, oh Sam, fuck,” Steve moaned as he crowded Sam over to the door. Steve’s hands grabbed onto Sam’s hips and pulled him as close as he could. Groaning, he licked the seam of Sam’s lips, begging for entrance. With a hum, Sam opened his lips to Steve, meeting his tongue halfway. This seemed to jolt Steve into action. He bent down slightly and grabbed at the backs of Sam’s thighs, picking him up and pushing him back against the wall. While his mouth was still devouring Sam’s he began a slow grind, hitting all the right spots.

“Steve, hold on. We can’t do this,” Sam suddenly gasped out.

“Wha? Why?” Steve whined the last word.

Sam banged his head against the door. “Because your consent is compromised, Baby.”

“Wha consent? I want you. You’re hard. And sexy. And you feel so good. Right. Here,” Steve said, punctuating his last two words with hip thrusts.

“I know, Steve, I know. But I need your system to be free from all influences before we really do this. I need to know that everyday Steve still wants this. Still wants me,” Sam explained. “If you still feel like this tomorrow and still want to act on those feelings, then I’m all for it Steve.”

“But if you don’t. If you don’t feel like this or you don’t want to act on it, please know that it will be okay. I will be okay. We will still be friends. Great friends, Steve. Do you understand me? Please understand,” Sam was near to pleading at the end. He reached down to Steve’s chin to tilt his head up. “Steve?”

“Yeah, I understand Sam,” he said. 

“Do you?”

“I really do,” Steve said as he released his hold on Sam’s legs and let him slide down to stand on the floor. He lifted his big, blue eyes up and said, “One more kiss?”

“Just a little one. I’m on to you, Steve Rogers,” Sam teased.

Steve reached up and spread his hands over Sam’s jaw and neck. Soft lips met soft lips. Hot breath mingled. With a combined sigh, they parted.

“Hey Sam?” Steve breathed out.

“Yeah Steve?” Sam looked up and answered.

“I’m gonna kiss you tomorrow,” Steve said, then he opened his door and walked backwards into his apartment with a lascivious grin on his face.


End file.
